Monday, November 9, 2009

FattMatt Review: "Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant"

Maybe it was my fault that Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant sucked.

Maybe it was my fault that I expected a lot more out of John C. Reilly. He was bland and monotonous in this movie. He didn't show his talents at all. He was very rigid, and it was so boring to watch him, which is really disappointing.
I mean, I know he played a vampire so he should be a little stiff, but still.
He's John C. Reilly.
The man's movie career started in a Brian DePalma film. Since only 1989, he's been in 50 film productions. Not to mention that in the year 2002, the man starred in 3 separate films that were each nominated for Best Picture of the Year and had a combined total of 32 Oscars nods. He himself was nominated for a Best Supporting Role Oscar, plus a Grammy Award.
In addition to being liked by DePalma, the guy also worked for Robert Altman, Martin Scorsese, Peter Segal, Stephen Daldry, Rob Marshall, Wolfgang Petersen, Paul Thomas Anderson, Cutris Hanson, Lasse Hallström and Tony Scott.
Not to mention he played 2 of my favorite comedic characters ever: 'Dale' in Step Brothers and 'Cal' in Talladega Nights.

Maybe it was my fault that I expected a lot more out of the supporting cast, because if the main actor can't seem to entertain, you can lean a little bit on some support, right? But no, they weren't anything special either.
I mean it only included great actors like Willem Dafoe, Ken Watanabe, Salma Hayek, Michael Cerveris and Orlando Jones.

Maybe it was my fault that I expected more out of director & co-writer Paul Weitz, director of About a Boy, the classic American Pie, and writer of Antz. I thought for sure he'd be able to use his experience to bring this story to life and keep me interested, or at least keep it consistently funny all the way through. But no.

Maybe it was my fault that I expected more out of co-writer Brian Helgeland, writer of Mystic River, Man on Fire, Payback and L.A. Confidential to be able to write an intriguing story and pull me deep into this world of vampires, freaks and circus acts; to give these notable actors captivating lines to speak. But no.

Maybe it was my fault that I expected more out of the story, which is based on a 12 book series that has been published in 30 languages in 37 different countries in the world.

Maybe it was my fault that this movie sucked.


Anonymous said...

Stop blaming yourself... all signs point to a bad director... I understand his successful history, but it sounds like it's HIS fault, not yours my friend. It's ok, John C. will make it up to us on the next one. Chalk it up to a loss.

Matt Durghali said...

I'll say, Doggy.

Anonymous said...

maybe it was your fault that i had to sit through it in the first place.